Times for inner healing and knowledge of oneself are here. What does it really mean? Internal healing of what? Think of all the years you have had experiences of pain, worry and stress. Everything that you have not encountered with understanding and acceptance, are stored in your body and cells. Every experience of inner pain such as sadness, disappointment, experience of being left behind, neglected, depressed, when someone has not respected you, stopped loving you, hated you, when you have felt scared, wrong, worried, stressed, felt small, incapable, stupid, lonely, tired, nervous etc. Yes, all these experiences have left traces in you, some barely visible and some deep as tractor tracks. Most of the time you have moved on from the experience without wanting to reflect more on what happened, because it has been too painful. You may panic, stop breathing and not know what to do when the heavy emotions scares you. You have moved on without facing what hurt inside you. This means that everything that has happened, you have refused to see, meet and accept. What hurts remains and is reminded through similar experiences that life gives you. Of course, you attract into your life such experiences that help you lift to the surface what you have hidden and pressed down. Your mission is to observe yourself in different situations, feel for what it is you feel. You do not need to know why, but just acknowledge and accept that you feel something. The challenge is to sit with the feeling, without doing anything about it. Without fixing it, without wanting it to disappear, go away or without numbing it with something like alcohol, food, television, friends, drugs, etc. When you sit with your old wounds, old pains and let them be, just like a part of us, you create a change. The pain, the feeling belongs to you and has a right to exist. That experience had a meaning for you a long time ago, but you denied its right to exist and you preferred not to accept it, not even today.
Crying is the best healing you can allow yourself. Not everyone needs to cry and many are afraid that once they allow themselves to cry, it will never end. Because we know how much sorrow there is in us, it feels like there are oceans of sadness… Though I have never met anyone who cried for ages, barely a day… I myself have cried time to time, for all that I kept inside of me. It will always be a relief after crying. Especially when I do not care what it's about, why I cry, how long I should cry or how it hurts in me right now. Because grief is a part of me, just like joy.
Getting to know myself is about seeing all parts of me no matter what I call them (bad, negative, annoying, scary). How can I get to know myself if I close the door in front of the painful sides of me, if I pretend that they do not exist or never give them any understanding, time. When I get to know myself, and I get angry, irritated, frustrated, sad, hurt, etc., it means that these feelings do not take over when I meet them next time. This means that I am aware of what is happening inside of me and do not let all my energy go to dislike / hate them or be afraid of them. I want to respect everything in me and let the actual feelings come up without me having to react based on it (ie let me be controlled by them). These feelings will always be in us, me and you, the question is: how will you handle and respond to them (how do you want to feel and how do you want your life to be)? It's like dealing with a rainy day: you can get angry and annoyed that it's raining, blame someone for creating such climate change, or you may find that it's raining and act accordingly. With respect, acceptance and understanding the purpose of rain and realize that it is part of the whole, part of our world.
Hugs and be encouraged to pause, be still and to meet your so called inner monster.